I had taken a day off of work to take my two kids, Todd, 3 and Laura, 9 months, Christmas shopping.

Off we went to get all of their Christmas presents for Mummy, Granny, Grandpa etc, and I was looking for something special for Mum. Anyway this all went really well and we came away with several large bags of presents and everyone checked off the list.

It was 3.30pm and I had arranged to pick my wife up from work at 5, so I decided that on route I would stop off at the supermarket and do some shopping…some flowers and some nice food for dinner.

As I finish paying, my three year old starts playing up…

“I need the toilet, Daddy.”
So I ask, “do you really need the toilet??”
“Yes Daddy, poos and wees”, he responds.

Great!  Here I am with two small children and a trolley full of shopping, so I asked one of the cashiers to keep an eye on my shopping, and took the pair of them into the gents. Now, this was a typical men’s public toilet, a row of urinals and a single cubicle, which was occupied.

“Are you sure you need a poo?” I ask
“Yes Daddy!” he says. “Poos and wees”.

So we wait while the chap in cubicle plays a lovely tune from his bum as he drops his stomach contents.  5 mins later an old grubby man appears from the cubicle and in we go to be met with my worst nightmare. The place was covered in urine and there was crap all over the seat.

Again “Are you sure you need a poo??”
“Yes daddy poos and wees”

So here I am, the three year old sandwiched between my legs to stop him touching anything  the baby in one arm, clearing up some other guys crap so my kid can go to the toilet.

Having cleaned up as best as possible, I perch my son on the toilet and wait several mins before he pipes up,

“I don’t need to go now daddy!”

The seen from the Simpsons where Hommer throttles Bart immediately sprang into my head.

Anyway after all this, to cap it all we were now late to pick up my wife…….you can never win!

Rob from Sunbury