Hi all, Im sure this has been covered before on this forum but I just wondered if any other Dads (or Dads to be) were/are just scared as hell about the whole thing? My wife is 6 months pregnant but recently its got to the stage I cant even sleep at night... is it normal to be this scared? It just seems like such a big thing and just so life changing that how do you know you like it until you have one?!
(Just before you say it, yes I know, its a bit late for all this now! But, these thoughts have only stared arising over the past few weeks).
Any of your ideas and comments would be apprecited at this nervous time. Thanks in advance guys.

Heya Mr C,

I think it is normal, I'm in a similar position and I've just been lent and read this book http://www.amazon.co.uk/Fatherhood-Truth-Marcus-Berkmann/dp/0091900638

I'd recommend you go out and buy it. Funny and has some excelent info that I didn't know about and most importantly covers all the stuff thats in your head and you're not sure if it's just you being an arse or not but you sure as hell don't want to mention to a hormonally supercharged partner.

Mostly switching between "ARRRGHGHGHGH I'm gonna be a dad!" and wondering where all the sex has gone

I think most guys go through this, I know I did.

If you love your partner and the pregnancy was planned, there was a reason you made the decision together.

If it was not then I can understand totaly and you must be climbing the walls with worry.

If it is any conselation, I now have two and would not be parted with either. I can say in all honesty I have never loved anyone including my wife as much as I love my boys.

I would say it is probably going to be around 3 months after you kid is born before it all makes sence and that first smile and interaction with them is going to make it all worth it, after that it just gets better and better.

there are obviously up and downs with them, but there are far more ups than there are downs.

As for the no sex, I think thats a running theme on this forum

Nothing to be scared of.

Oh, apart from the commitment, lack of social life, change in household routine, lack of sleep etc... 3 kids later (6, 3 and 8 months) you get used to it!

The only good bit of advise I was ever given, was that she is always right, even when she's wrong. This is biggest, most life changing event in her (and your) life, but for her it's physical, psycological and hormonal.

As for the lack of sex, first time she was pregnant, the standard line was ("don't you dare come near me, look what happened last time!". Maybe there was a bit of fear regarding 'is it safe'.

Second time round, 3 months pregnant and she wouldn't leave me alone! Pretty much until 2 weeks before birth!

And this afternoon, the youngest blurted out her first DaDa when I got home. I crumbled!

Hi there,
I can remember being scared as well.
It took me years to consent to having children and then when I finally did it was on the basis that it would probably take quite a while to concieve. 9 months after the first unprotected nookie I had a baby son.
So I was a bit unprepared. I had all sorts of sleepless nights about how I would cope with work when I was lacking in sleep; How would I deal with dirty nappies (huge amount of wretching on the first go but you soon get used to it;where was the money coming from; how do you deal with a screaming baby and a screaming hangover at the same time.
The simple answer is you just do and it seems quite natural no matter how alien it was before you had a kid.
It is difficult to explain but it is as if your priorities change. You go from the world being about you and your fun and your focus switches to your child. You don't resent giving stuff up because it doesn't feel like you have. You just exchange one set of priorities for another.

Thank you Dads for your advice, from what you all say it is a positive experience - Im still just scared about the unknown I suppose and that feeling that once you have them they are yours forever (obvious I know!).
With almost anything else in life you can walk away, but having a little 'un seems like a responsibility that stays with you forever. Im sure this is a good thing but it seems quite daunting. It is of course a major change in our lives and the responsibility of it all is looming large.
Maybe its just time to grow up a bit?!

Your continued comments are very much welcome...