If you have a child or dad related joke you think it deserves to be published please send it to  This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it

Latitude and longitude

The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading.

After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked,

"Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees,

15 minutes east longitude...?"

After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, "I guess you'd be eating alone."

First Day at School

A little boy comes home from his first day at school.

His Mother asks, "Well, what did you learn today?"

The boy replies, "Not enough. They want me to come back tomorrow."

Red Light

A man in a hurry taking his son to school jumps a red light "Uh-oh, I think I just jumped the lights!"

the man said.

"It's okay, Dad," the boy said, "The police car behind us did exactly the same thing."

Daddy, how was I born? 

A little boy goes to his father and asks 'Daddy, how was I born?' 

The father answers, 'Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find

out anyway! 

Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. 

Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. 

We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. 

As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and 

since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later alittle Pop-Up appeared that said…….. 

.
.
.
.
'You got Male!'



Why Parents Drink
 
The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent but had not phoned in sick 
one day. Needing to have an urgent problem with one of the main computers resolved, he dialled the 
employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper. 
' Hello ? ''Is your daddy home?' he asked?
' Yes ' whispered the small voice.
May I talk with him?' 
The child whispered, 'No’
Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, 'Is your Mummy there?'
' Yes’ 
‘May I talk with her?' 
Againthe small voice whispered, ' No '
Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, 'Is anybody 
else there?' 
' Yes ,' whispered the child, 'a policeman. 
'Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, 'May I speak with 
the policeman?' 
' No, he's busy , ' whispered the child.
'Busy doing what?'
' Talking to Daddy and Mummy and the Fireman , ' came the whispered answer. 
Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on the phone, 
the boss asked, 'What is that noise?'
' A helicopter ' answered the whispering voice.
'What is going on there?' demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
Again, whispering, the child answered, ' The search team just landed a helicopter
'Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, 'what are they searching for?’
' Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle... ' ME !'
 
Click here for jokes page 2