It's official. The cost of bringing up kids costs a packet!
It seems that I go in fits and starts with buying clothes and toys for my children. For a while we don't seem to buy anything and then we seem to spend a fortune.

I've read in the paper a child can cost parents more than £18,000 before its first birthday. By the time it turns three this can rise to £27,500 research shows. Apparently, this is a lot for bottles of wine and sexy lingerie, apparently parents can spend an average of £311 trying to conceive including pregnancy tests, health supplements and fertility treatment.

Apparently we then spend an average £13,696 in the baby's first year with more than £2000 of that going towards childcare. In the first three years parents spend £1496 on food £1142 on clothes in £1289 on books and toys.

The top tip seems to be therefore either don't have any, which I don't advise, or accept as many handouts and hand-me-downs as you can get your hands on. I also think it's sensible to go easy on the meals out giving the costs involved. After all if someone is as good-looking as you you won't need tp spend £311 trying to conceive how can she refuse?. Enjoy and keep saving those pennies gents.