How long before you start to bond with your baby??

My son is great, however I do not have a really strong connection with him the way that my wife seems to.

All he seems to do is drink, sleep and crap intersperced with sporadic crying.

He seems to know who his mum is and reacts when he hears her voice, however he doesnt seem to know me from Adam.

Am I abnormal, or are other guys out there having similar experiences??

Andy, sorry to here that you have worries about bonding.

to be honest with you, with my son it was only when he got to about three months that I started to get a really strong attachment to him and for him to me. its about this stage that you start to get a reaction from them like a smile or them recognising you as you come into the room, that they dont do for aother people.

As for him recognising mums voice, this is understandable, he has already had 9 months of her voice every time she has spoken while he has been in her tummy. It will take time him to recognise yours in the same way.

If it is any consilation, it gets better and better to around two, where there is a bit of a blip, and they start to push the boundaries and express their own will, this is wher i am with my boy at the momment, but its not to bad.

Chin up.... it will come, just takes time.

Thanks Jason,

Glad to here that im not the only one that feels like this and that it will get better with time.

Hang in there fellas i understand that when he starts to head a ball and volley it 30 yards top left hand corner she will feel the odd one out.

Dear Andy, sorry to hear you've had a few problems. Don't worry - you're certainly not alone - it is very common for Dads to feel this way - Baby gets to bond with mum through breast feeding and the short playtime that follows while dad seems to miss everything while he is at work!

The good news is that as he gets older you will both get a lot closer. A few things often help while you wait for this magic age - try spending time with him - even if it is changing every nappy he soils when you are around, or share in putting him to bed or bathing him.

Personally I felt similarly as I missed most of his first three days and had to return quickly to work - all i did was change nappies and sit up at night with a screaming baby! But it pays off. We have arranged bedtime so I can just about make it back home in time which means I get to be the one to put him to bed half the time too.

If all else fails, time will bring you closer - and he isnt going to go to mum to help with his football/rugby/other physical activities!


Hope things are getting better

to be honest guys, the longer we have had him the closer I am getting with him.

I agree with Bangs, it is a good idea to get into a routine so you have dad / baby time regularly