Your wife is in the middle stages of pregnancy and you get a call at work that you aren’t expecting - she has gone into labour early and is on route to hospital. You drop everything and head straight there to meet her. Finding out that you are having a premature baby must be one of the most frightening things to find out as a dad.

The neonatal unit itself is quite a scary place, very quiet except for all the beeps and alarms going off from the equipment and monitors. There is also lots of complicated equipment, often housing and supporting very small infants.

To the nurses in the unit this is quite normal, and they go about their business with a calm fluidity, resetting alarms and checking on the babies. However, as a dad, this is far from a normal situation.  You are dealing with the unknown, and when it is your baby that’s in the unit, the first alarm that goes off on your baby’s incubator is heart stopping and fills you with dread. I think that this is worst thing, the feeling of helplessness: you and your baby are completely in the hands of the medical staff, from feeding to nappy changes, you are following the regimented schedule that the unit follows.

In reality this regimented schedule is a godsend as you learn to fit in with the unit and it’s one less thing to worry about at this stressful time.

Hopefully the below information will give you a heads up on some of terms and equipment you may encounter in the unit.

The levels of care in the neonatal unit:

Intensive care

The highest level of care, this is for babies who require continuous support and close observation.

High dependency care

This level of care involves the continuation of some breathing support such as CPAP (continuous positive pressure ventilation) and intravenous nutrition or tube feeding.

Special care

Usually the final stage in preparing babies to go home; this may include weaning from tube-feeding to oral feeding from breast or bottle.

Transitional care

This usually takes place within a postnatal ward and is designed to prepare a baby and family prior to going home.

Typical equipment found in a neonatal unit includes:

Incubators

To keep your baby warm.  They come in various forms but most are a closed box that keeps in the warmth and allows the doctors to control the humidity.

Vital signs monitors

A piece of monitoring equipment that is attached to your baby via cables and small pads that are stuck to your baby’s body. They monitor your baby’s heart beat and breathing.

Intravenous lines

Fine lines that are inserted into a vein or blood vessel, allowing nutrients and fluids to be injected straight into the blood stream of very premature or sick babies.

Ventilators

Premature babies often have lungs that have not fully developed and therefore need some help with breathing. These machines pump oxygen enriched air in and out of a baby’s lungs via a tube through the mouth or nose. The machines are able to regulate breathing depending on the baby’s needs. 

CPAP

Continuous positive pressure ventilation - a system that supplies a continuous stream of air via a tube through the nose or a face mask that helps to inflate the baby’s lungs when breathing.

Apnoea alarms

An apnoea monitor is used to detect pauses in breathing (apnoea) or breathing problems in young babies. If a baby’s breathing stops for more than 20 seconds an alarm will sound.

A Dad’s View:

Having a premature baby can be very emotional for all parties, but as the man you will probably be trying to be strong and supportive for your wife and new baby.  The reality is that you’re likely to be muddling along as best you can, feeling really helpless inside.

Below is an account from Jim Flack, father of Scarlett and Harry born at 25 weeks.

“While down in Kent for Christmas 2007, Scarlett and Harry decided to make their appearance and arrived early at just 25 weeks. The consultant gave them a 50/50 chance of survival. They both spent the next two months in intensive care with various complications, before moving to special care for three weeks.

My initial feelings on seeing them for the first time in an incubator were awe, sadness, fear but not really happiness. I think this was partly due to not wanting to have too much hope in case I had further to fall if things went wrong but also the general shock of what was happening. Early on when alone and contemplating the magnitude of the situation I found myself almost gasping for air.

I don’t think Mandy and I really talked to each other early on about the emotions we were experiencing, although we were there for each other our total focus was on giving our fragile babies the will to survive. We were relentless in striving to give those babies every ounce of energy we had, and looking back I think that made a real difference. They knew from day one that we were there every step, because we talked to them, held them or just sat by their incubators reading or talking to them. However, I did find it hard to believe that the two babies in the incubators were my son and daughter.

I read up on potential complications and made the mistake of looking on the internet which made me feel worse. The Bliss booklet helped, but I needed to read it all and consider the worst case scenarios just to brace myself. Doctors advised us to deal with it one day at a time and doing so really helped.

I was very fortunate with work, initially having January off, and then being able to work from my parent’s house or an office in Kent until mid March, which helped me devote my time to going to the hospital every day.

Scarlett and Harry finally came home on 2^nd April after 99 days in hospital, continue to do well and are generally enjoying life.”

Family Support - Bliss

There is a great charity out there called “Bliss” offering support and advice to families with premature or sick babies. Their website is an oasis of information from bonding with your baby to tests and procedures and should be the first port of call on finding out you have a premature baby. The site can be found at www.bliss.org.uk

They also have a section on their website that is specifically for dads and this can be found at: http://www.bliss.org.uk/page.asp?section=44&sectionTitle=Fathers

The Parents 4 Parents service they offer, will put you in contact with other parents that have had similar experiences to yourself.  For more information on this, you should call their free phone support line 0500 618140.