hey guys,

my wife and I are 9 weeks in. Early days but with the dramatic changes in our lives already seems like we are right into it.
I've always been involved in stuff at home but these last couple of weeks I've been thrown right into it. Poor wife is struggling through easch day at work and crawling straight into bed everynight. Whilst not vomiting she is continually green and is on a fairly limited diet.
And so I am running around like a worried child, trying to make sure she has everything she needs and isn't put under any additional strain.
In honesty, I'm shattered already!

I'm stupidily excited about the prospect of being a dad and suitably terrified too (I'm guessing most people are the same). I think right now my major panic is about the first scan. Only two weeks to go, but I just want to know everything is ticking along ok in there. My sister has had a couple of miscarriages which is why I think I am painfully aware of the 12 week barrier and of course I can't share with my wife just how much it is bothering me, but I am really scared. In my gut everything feels ok but my head is whirling.

Sorry this message is so long and rambly, particularly as it's my first, but i thought this may be a good place to clear my chest (and head) a bit and find out if there is anyone else here in a similar place?

Hi ibyself,

I'm new to the board too so thought I'd say hello also as we're both 'new boarders' I thought we could race to the next level!

Although we are in totally different situations right now, I can totally relate to your post. I have a 9 month old son although everything you describe feels like yesterday to me... and I can empathise with how you are dealing with things and how you are feeling right now.

I'm saying this in the least patronising way possible, you need to slow down and take it easy! You will need your energy for when the little one arrives! I'm sure you have already heard that 101 times from well-meaning folk... I was told the same thing and I ignored it and carried on the best way I knew how.... manic! Seriously though, get your R&R in now if you can, as things hot up once the baby is there with you.

I can sympathise with your fears of miscarriage too.... we had a scare at about 16 weeks but things turned out ok.... i think that the people who are telling you to calm down and relax have either never had kids, or have, but have forgeotten what it feels like during the pregnancy. The worry is constant and nothing anyone says really helps. Just do your best to look after eachother and everything else is out of your control.... I Hope things go smoothly for you.

Anyway, back to work! oops. Feel free to ask any questions, but I'm no expert.... just a dad!!! agghhhhhhhhh

welcome to you both, I hope you find the site usefull.

As for the first scan, I can remeber with my first boy, how real it all became on seeing the blurry image. Until then it hadnt realy sank in that I was going to be responsible for this little person growing inside my wife.

anyway I am sure it will be fine

Welcome fellas.
Ah that first scan.I agree with Daddy dave. It feels like yesterday. I am now proud dad of 2 and yes you will worry. I think you would be funny if you didn't. Irony is try not to worry too much. Despite being in 2008 nature knows what it is doing and most things go without a problem.

As for your partner i recall only too well that first period. My wife was sick as a pig and i felt awful for her. Rest is key and believe it or not she will get better and for most the morning sickness goes around 3 months and energy gets a bit better.
Enjoy your quality time and just be supportive. If she feels really rough ginger is a great choice apparently, or dry crackers or toast.
As daddy dave said just another dad with tips that worked for us. Picled eggs and a lump of coal have been suggested by some mums but I 'd go with the first options myself.

Trying not to patronise too much and sounding like one of those airline spoof disaster movies stay in touch and we will talk you in.

(Ps Now my eldest has gone back to sleep so will I.4.10am you must enjoy that quality time now-trust me!!!)

Learner,

Ignore my other post, just read this and now realise that you are not what your name leads us to believe!! Two tours of duty eh! congratulations on both. I did wonder why you would be posting on here at 03:50am but in context of two kids this now makes sense

I was up at 3:30 too, rocking mine bak to sleep.... 9 months down-the-line and he still feeds every 3 hours .... I can hear you brand new dads groaning now! and I know, thats nothing compared to having a new born... I haven't forgotten that just yet! feeds every 40 minutes or less!!!!

How old are yours now?

thanks for the responses guys. I guess we all have this bewildered state until a little later in the proceedings. I think my mind has been racing a little over the last 2 months hence the frantic nature of my post.

Cheerios seem to be my wifes saving grace at the minute, but I'll keep the coal on standby for now I think

Quality time has been lacking but this weekend we are on strike, tesco has delivered the shopping, and the sofa plus christmas movies are calling us. think we will both feel better after some R&R.

I've also decided I need to get working on to do lists at home so I stop running around like a loon. Plenty of time for that next july!