We've all seen the pictures of the woman lying there with the mask over her mouth panting and screaming as she gives birth to her child.  But what’s actually in that mask and what options has she got in order to help her give birth safely and as comfortably as possible?

When we think of pain relief, of course we automatically think of drugs or, as it is know in medical terms, analgesia and we will look at these in greater detail below but there are other non-pharmaceutical options available.   Now in our experience, the effectiveness of these largely depend on whether or not you believe they are going to work. By this we mean if, for example, when you suffer from a headache you listen to whale music and chant whilst covering yourself in aromatherapy oils then some of these options may be appropriate. Some of them, particularly for the traditionalists and cynics amongst us, will be poo-poo'd. 
Be that as it may, there is a whole range of things available to assist your partner with the pain.

As men we tend to think that we are sharing the birthing experience with our partners just by being there with them at the time.  As she pants and you shout "push" that is not apparently the same as giving birth and, paraphrasing the words of Robin Williams, the comedian, unless you are passing the likes of a bowling ball or somebody is opening an umbrella back there the "sensation" just isn’t the same.

Before giving you some options, let us start with a question. If you had to have your appendix out would you try and do it without any pain relief? We thought not, and nobody would think you were wimping out or being un-macho. We ask this because your partner may think she is failing in some way if she has to have pain relief. Total rubbish! But believe us, when the hormone fairy has arrived you may well be faced with your partner having this view, so be prepared.

There is also the assumption that your partner will definitely need pain relief. However she may not, although many women do choose some relief at some stage of the birth process. If you are going to be with your partner supporting her it is sensible for you to have an idea of what is available and to have discussed the options with your partner.

You don’t want to be freaking out during the birth when your partner is non-compos mentis and is looking to you for advice on what she should do regarding pain relief.

Starting off from the early stages of the labour and therefore, generally speaking, the lesser end of the pain scale and building up to the second stage of labour and the maximum pain scenario, we have listed below some of the options available to your partner. The list is by no means exhaustive, but in our view, covers the main options that you will have available to you:

1. Breathing - Obviously not just any old breathing but deep, controlled and focused breathing. There are numerous classes where these techniques are taught (see antenatal classes article). Many people believe
that by relaxing and focusing on her breathing the woman is more in touch with her body, less stressed and this can assist during labour and lead to a more focused state of mind. The important thing we found 
during the deep breathing classes that we attended, normally straight from work, is the dad should try to stay awake!

 
2. Massage (with or without aromatherapy oils) - We all know how relaxing this can be. It may also help your partner relax, completely let go during labour and be in tune with her body. Both are good. Once again however keep your clothes on and do not climb onto the bed next to or on top of her to deliver the massage.
You must have clear medical advice as to what oils you can use and when because some can be extremely harmful to the baby. Also remember that some hospitals simply may not allow you this option.  

 
3. TENS machine -TENS stands for Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation. Basically this is a devil that is a little bigger in size than an iPod and has wires coming out of it. On the ends of these wires are sticky pads which should be put on specific places on your partners back. The idea being that the current generated
stimulates the nerve cells which has the effect of partially blocking the transmission of the pain of the contractions. It is important to use a TENS machine early in labour. There are a variety of them on the market and it is also possible to hire them. Some of them have a hand held control that your partner can hold and increase on demand when she needs it. It apparently works for some but others say it had little effect.

4. Gas and Air - This is actually called Entonox which is a mixture of 50% oxygen and 50% nitrous oxide. It is normally administered by a face mask or mouthpiece and is usually one of the first options for pain relief in labour. Your partner is in control of how much and how often she uses it. For some women this is all they require and, for others, they said it was a waste of time. The only real tip we can offer is don’t put the mask on yourself and don’t do impressions in deep voices saying “use the force!”.

5. Pethidine - A class A drug related to opium that is therefore stronger than gas and air. Normally injected into the thigh. It can significantly ease the labour pains that your partner is suffering. However she may also feel a little sick and, perhaps, disorientated. It is also alleged to possibly affect your baby if it is given late in labour. Your baby may be very sleepy when it is born and, in extreme cases, it may cause breathing difficulties in your child. It goes without saying that you should discuss all of these options with your medical advisers so that you know what your best options are for your particular circumstances.
 
6. Epidural - An anaesthetic injection into the spine. That, of course, has its own risks which you should discuss with your anaesthetist. It can numb the nerves to the uterus and cervix which relieves labour pains. It can also remove sensation in your partner’s legs and feet which, some schools of thought, think is not good at a time when the woman should be aware of all the sensations in her body.
From the women we have spoken to that opted for the epidural they invariably thought it was effective and very
welcome at the time. Epidurals can be used if your partner has a C-section (see our article). It is important you ensure that your partner asks for this in good time. Sometimes if it is too close to the actual birth itself it may not have time to work and your medical team may be unable to administer it at that stage.

One thing's for sure by the time your partner has used half of the above, called you every name under the sun, and told you, repeatedly, it's all your fault you will know that you are well on your way to joining the dad's club. Hold tight!!!